Naeane Church Sunday Message — The Sixteenth Sunday After Pentecost
Sunday Message — The Sixteenth Sunday After Pentecost
The Holy Spirit Holds Me First, Before the One I Cannot Forgive
Text: Ephesians 4:31–32
Today I want to preach on this: the Holy Spirit holds me first, before the one I cannot forgive. As the title says, the person I cannot forgive is really today's keyword.
Living in this world, over the course of your life, you've met many people. So have I. And there is surely someone still unforgiven in your heart. When I live alone, there's no problem — but we have to live alongside people, and we have to see, every single day, even the ones we'd rather not see. And where is that? It may be the home, it may be the workplace, and it is also our church community.
When I looked into it, I found that a person, almost inevitably, does not become enemies with someone far away. It's always with someone close that enmity arises. In the end it turns into a quarrel, into anger, and finally an enmity sets in that cannot be forgiven. And behind the word enemy lies this, doesn't it — that this person cannot be forgiven.
So — the unforgiven person in my own heart; and, as our church going forward meets all sorts of people online and offline, how we can keep from making enemies among them and instead forgive; and how we can do that not by my own willpower but by the help of the Holy Spirit — that is the angle I want to preach from today.
As always, five questions.
One. How Did I Fight the Spiritual Battle This Week?
Last week's theme was that the Holy Spirit makes the family new. I normally live with the seniors of my household. So it's quiet, and these days we each keep to ourselves somewhat. Not entirely apart — but we sleep on our own schedules, and each of us keeps busy with different things. I tend to sleep a little late at night, and my wife goes to bed a bit earlier in the evening. Then from around five-thirty, six in the morning she's up and bustling about — and that's exactly when I still need to be asleep. And there's another strong-willed person right beside me too.
Normally there's no problem. But last week, having preached that the Spirit makes the family new, this week, ironically, a conflict rose up inside me. One of the things that sets me off is this: I'm hard at work on something, and someone beside me keeps asking me for something new — and suddenly irritation flares up inside. In the old days I'd have blown up. This time I didn't let it show. But inside, ugh, irritated again, came rolling right in.
So I thought, ah, the moment I let my guard down, here it comes again — and I guarded myself. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ.
And where is this hardest of all? The home. Because at home my armor comes all the way off. The mind loosens, the emotions loosen, the thoughts all loosen. Especially the head of the household — everything comes loose, and whatever's in there just comes out. And to have the armor off means to do as I please, and what comes out is all negative, all nagging.
I said I'd guard myself, and yet again I saw myself fail to guard it for a moment. But when I failed, I guarded myself again. That was the name, Jesus is the Christ. And whenever I failed, something always came to me: Hey, you can't even keep it. You slipped up again. You failed again. And right then I did it again. With Jesus is the Christ, I guarded myself once more.
Because I am not a complete person. God did not call me in a state of perfection. He didn't establish me as His child because I was perfect — He called me in this state, and it's a process of being changed, bit by bit. So I called that name, and when the guilt tried to come rolling back in, with Jesus is the Christ I guarded myself.
I've given one example, but imagine how much conflict there is inside me. Even so, I was guarding myself. And do you know when it's hardest for me? When I listen to other pastors preach. Inside me, countless enmities and conflicts come surging up. So I kept calling the name. In the old days I'd criticize and stop there, holding onto that criticism — but now, even as the criticism rises, I keep hold of the name and press on.
And meanwhile, one thing occurred to me about you. You have to listen to this pastor every single week, and not just for a year or two — how much of an inner spiritual war must you be waging? I even felt a little sorry for you. But in any case, I am guarding myself, and among all names the most important is the name Jesus is the Christ. Remember that perhaps I, inside, am waging even more conflict than you are — and keep fighting your own spiritual battle.
Two. What Did I Come to Realize From Genesis 3:15 This Week?
Today's theme is the making of enemies, and going all the way from that enmity to forgiveness.
In Genesis 3:1–5, we usually think the person simply ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge. But we don't really understand it. The moment they ate that fruit, something changed. The fruit of the tree of knowledge was not something that happened outside. It happened in here.
So what breaks loose here? At once, they dislike God. They run and hide. They make excuses. What is this? From within, it has flipped over into being at enmity with God. This became an instinct. It wasn't an instinct before, but because it became one, I use the word instinct. Unconsciously, when God comes near, we dislike it.
And even when we call the name Jesus is the Christ, the enmity in here is only pushed off for a moment — because this very nature is enmity itself: at enmity with God, and second, at enmity with people. That is the human being. So this is not something fixed by a little tweak, not something fixed by attending a bit of worship. Only by taking Jesus the Christ into this heart, as in John 1:12, does this nature and instinct change — and to change further, we have to keep calling that name.
So this week, looking at Genesis 3, I came to see it more clearly: our human race is at deadly enmity with God; even having been saved through Christ, that nature remains; and how much I actually change is possible only when I call that name.
Three. Explaining Today's Text on the Foundation of Genesis 3:15
Today's text is Ephesians 4:31–32. What I hold as most important in Scripture is Genesis 3:15.
There, the name the offspring of the woman, the Christ appears. God gave that name as the name that would settle every problem. And the Old Testament, from Genesis to Malachi, is one long Someone is coming. But underneath that, what else appears? Many kings came. In 1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings, 1 and 2 Chronicles, kings appear one after another.
Why do they appear at such length? Because those kings all fail. Who was the most complete king — ethically, morally, politically, militarily? David. And Solomon. Yet even they, once they became king, changed. They threw away everything they'd built before.
How does David end up? He kills the very officer he most favored. Because of what? To satisfy his own bodily desire. And after that, what enters his house? Murder. A son betrays his father; a son tries to kill his father. So David is forever on the run. The nation falls into chaos.
The famous Solomon is worse. As a young man he received God's wisdom, the wisest of kings, the wealthiest. But the moment he finished building the temple, he changed. He brought in every idol of the world. And it wasn't the idols themselves that were the problem — it was that, to make himself powerful, he married the daughters of the surrounding kings. And when those queens came, what came with them? All their culture, their politics, their idols came along. He served the very things they served. So Solomon, too, fell utterly.
Watching that, what emerges? However famous the king, however wise, however brilliant — that king cannot truly save the nation. That is the conclusion of the Old Testament. So who finally appears? In Matthew, Jesus the Christ appears.
Follow me and confess. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ.
The Gospels don't just appear out of nowhere. From the Old Testament on it's no, no, no — so when does the true King come? And the conclusion is Matthew 1:1: the son of David, the offspring of Abraham, the Christ has come. And that Christ settled every problem of yours and mine, opened the way to meet God, then died, rose, ascended, and — in Acts 2 — sent the Spirit. Acts, chapters 1 through 28, is the Spirit spreading out across the world, and as it spread, churches were planted in each region. And how those churches then live, and how they carry out world evangelization — that is what unfolds in Romans, 1 Corinthians, and on through the New Testament letters.
Today's text is Ephesians 4. The Ephesian church appears in Acts 19 through 20. Paul evangelized the region of Ephesus and planted a church, around AD 53 to 56. In Ephesus, Paul ministered for a full three years. In other regions he preached briefly and passed on, but in Corinth and especially Ephesus he taught for three years, bringing to bear all the experience and knowledge he had.
Afterward Paul left, and later he was imprisoned in Rome. That was around AD 60 to 62. So roughly seven or eight years had passed since the church was founded. The letter he sent to the Ephesian church after those seven or eight years is Ephesians, chapters 1 through 6. Chapters 1 through 3 declare who you are, what kind of people you are; chapters 4 through 6 say, therefore, this is how you must live.
The Corinthian letters were written because a particular problem had arisen in the church, but Ephesians was written less about a specific problem and more to emphasize how you are to live from here on. And today's text, Ephesians 4:31–32, is this: over the seven or eight years since the church was founded, many conflicts would have arisen inside it. As I said, conflict arises among people who are close. Conflict, anger, quarreling, enmity, taking sides — all of that comes out, and so chapter 4 addresses how you are to live in the midst of it.
Four. The Part I Want to Explain in Detail
First, as we look at Ephesians from chapter 1 through 6, and at chapter 4, we have to admit that this church is at a higher level than we are. Ephesians is one of the hardest of the letters, and it's a letter written to one of the most spiritually mature churches. So the Ephesian church had a foundational belief system already in place. So do we.
Let's confess it together. Jesus is the Christ. I am a child of God. Every problem is finished. Satan, go. Filled with the Spirit. World evangelization.
They had all of this laid down underneath. And since today is the sixteenth Sunday after Pentecost, the basic content we've covered from week one through sixteen — the Ephesian church already had it too. What is that? The Spirit was sent by Jesus the Christ; His origin is clear. Not the spirit of the devil, not a shamanistic spirit, not some spirit trading on charisma — but the Spirit whom Jesus the Christ sent from the right hand of God. He has come inside me. He speaks. He leads. He testifies that I am a child. And in here He keeps bringing God's word to mind. They had this as their foundation.
But look at today's text, verses 31 and 32. What appears there? Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander. What are all of these? They are matters between person and person.
If Ephesians 1 through 3 tells you who you are, then from chapter 4 on it says, therefore, this is how you must live. But over the seven years, the Ephesian believers knew precisely, intellectually, who they were — yet in terms of how to live it out, in behavior, I judge that much of it had not yet arrived.
Why? Because many people had come into the Ephesian church, all of them having lived out in the world before coming in. And when I went to the region of Ephesus, I saw that then and now it's all a competitive society. And in a competitive society, trying somehow to beat the other person is the human being's fallen nature. To win, to seize, to rise higher, to declare only I am somebody — that is the nature inside a human being. Living out there like that, they come into the church, and their way of life is the same. Bitterness, clamor, slander — what are they all? I am the one who's somebody.
So that comes into the church and stirs up fresh trouble, and what does Paul say? Now you must forgive. Forgive one another. He speaks to the matter of forgiveness. But here Paul has one central thing to say. He is not first saying, just change your heart to forgiveness and erase it, or suppress your feelings.
What is Paul saying? Just as God in Christ forgave you, you also forgive and bear with one another. So what does he ground it on? He lays down, as the backdrop, the fact that God, in Christ, forgave you as His children — first.
What does that mean? Friends, we are people who cannot meet God. As I said, like Genesis 3:1–5 — when I look inside myself, even for a hundredth of a second, even for a fraction of a moment, not one good thing comes out before God, before people. Even though I've been saved and am a child of God, no good thing comes out. What keeps coming out is denial of God, denial of people, denial of others, and I am the one who's somebody — it just wells up. However deeply I look into myself, however much I call Jesus is the Christ, it still just comes out.
But if God were to make us His children on that basis, not one person in this world could stand. That's why Romans 3:23 says all have sinned. In that state we can never become children of God — and yet through Jesus the Christ we have become children of God, haven't we?
And even though we've become children of God — since Christ made me His child — you too, remembering that all the more and applying it, are to forgive between person and person. But while Paul says forgive here, the Holy Spirit does not keep forcing forgiveness on you and me — rather, we could say He leads you and me into it.
Five. How Will We Apply This Word to Our Lives?
Follow me. Jesus is the Christ. I am a child of God. Every problem is finished. Satan, go. Filled with the Spirit. World evangelization.
Setting everything else aside, what do we have to look at first? Where I am positioned right now — in my relationship with God — this matters most. Whatever situation arises, I am, through Christ, a child of God. And then, the Spirit dwells within me, and I am moving toward world evangelization.
Now let's apply it. As I prepared this sermon, I read the newspaper, read internet news, recalled the drama I watched yesterday, and looked back at what had flowed through this week — and it was almost all conflict. What shows up in a drama? Always conflict. When conflict arises: how do I crush that person, how do I tear them down, how do I strip away their honor and power and money? It comes only from that angle.
Yesterday I went to a coffee shop. I wasn't trying to listen, but someone beside me was on the phone, and it came to my ears: Hey, I'm doing something this time — you should invest in it too. What is that? Trying, somehow, to get hold of what the other person has. And in the newspaper, what keeps appearing is murder, war, conflict. Watching it, I thought — my, there's so much of it. And today's theme is the making of enemies, and untying it.
So I thought quietly to myself: over my life, just how many people have I made an enemy of? And there were quite a few. Even now there are many with whom I haven't untied the enmity. But going to that person directly and untying it is a later matter. What Scripture says first is what Paul says: just as God in Christ made you all His children, you too are to untie the enmity and bear with one another. First, I have to untie mine, inside me. Untying the relationship with the person is the next step. And to untie that, you have to go through a long process. First, it's important that God's kingdom be established inside me.
Now here's the problem. When I think of that person, a great deal of my energy gets concentrated right there. We are living out in a competitive society. If you and I work in some field, there are people above us and people below us. So to rise higher in that field, what do I need? Concentration. I have to pour my time, my heart, all my devotion and mind and strength into it and get past the level where I'm stuck. But so much of the energy in my heart is lodged in the past — especially in the people I've made enemies of. This stays alive inside me.
Why do you think our country has long had the word han? Han isn't merely a knot of resentment inside toward some particular person — it has become, if anything, a fixed center in the heart. And I see it in myself: think of that person, and up it comes, and my thoughts flow straight there. Then my time is wasted, my energy is wasted, my strength is wasted. My day's ration of energy is only so much, and as it drains away, I fail to get past the very thing I need to concentrate on and get past. And if I do fail, I spend still more energy blaming that person.
So what matters? Resolving the enmity with that person is a later matter — because I have to resolve me. So untying myself first is what matters. But there's this: untying myself does not mean forcibly suppressing my feelings and thoughts.
When I think quietly about the enmities I've made, there are none with people far away. What are they all? At first we grow close — this is good, this is good — and we get closer and closer. And then what happens? This person and that person are different, aren't they. And I ought to take it as, ah, that person thinks that way — but people don't do that. Huh, that person's different from me. Huh, that one's a bit odd. That one talks like that again. And from within, the feelings keep snagging. Then it piles up and up and becomes enmity. So when I looked into it: it's not enmity with someone far away, but with someone close.
I meet a friend of mine once a week. When we're in a tense setting, it's fine. But at some moment, since he's a friend, the heart loosens, and out come this remark and that remark. And I saw: ah, this is why it's hard to stay close with someone close. I've met that friend for over five years now, once a week. Even a friendship — keeping the relationship going by meeting regularly — is hard, because little hurts keep piling up. So I come to see that it's hard to grow closer with someone close, and my method has been to keep cutting it away with Jesus is the Christ.
I've applied this to my own life, but there's something you too must quietly notice. This week as well, inside you and me, there is surely someone we're at enmity with. And who? Not someone far away, but someone close.
So even then, what do we do? Follow me and confess. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ.
Even the person I've long been at enmity with — inside me, through Jesus is the Christ, I have to break the knot in here and the spirit that grips that knot. Through the name Jesus is the Christ, the Spirit works. And the people I keep meeting are all people close to me — and when it piles up and up, enmity forms. And with someone close, the armor comes off.
Especially, the person above me is the one who piles all the stress on me. Look at the people you're at enmity with — they're the ones above you. With those below you, there's almost no enmity. Why? Because that person accommodates me and holds it in. It's the one below who becomes an enemy of the one above. You'll have such situations too. And especially, as people keep coming into the church — you have to meet them every week, and what if you dislike that person?
First, I have to guard myself. Again — Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ. Jesus is the Christ.
Guard it that way, and when it comes to mind again at home, push it away again with Jesus is the Christ. That's the only method. It does not disappear on its own. Only by keeping guard over myself again and again can I, when I meet that person again, keep the relationship going at least somewhat normally.
I won't tell you all to forgive, because for us that's impossible. But let's first guard ourselves. Only by guarding myself can I do the work I'm meant to do and carry out world evangelization. So this week too, watching carefully, guard yourself in the name of Christ, and especially, keep calling on Christ, asking the Holy Spirit for the strength to guard that person — and may you be one who walks in victory through the week.
Closing Prayer
Let me pray.
Father, just as Christ, by settling every problem for me, resolved the enmity between me and God, I believe that the Spirit of Christ within me gives me the strength to drive out and overcome every thought and outlook and habit that would make me an enemy of others in my relationships.
This week too, as I keep calling and confessing the name of Jesus the Christ and planting it in my heart, let me first guard myself before the people close to me, the people around me — especially those I meet in my home, my workplace, and my church community — and let that guarding show itself in my relationships with them.
We carry within us a heart structured to make enemies of the very people closest to us, and all through our lives we have, unconsciously, made enemies of those close to us. By the help, the power, and the wisdom of the Spirit, let my heart first be guarded, and let heaven first be established within my heart. Fill us with Your Spirit.
In the name of Jesus, who is the Christ, we pray. Amen.
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